My feet on dry land but I feel like I am drowning. Drowning, sinking, into a thick heavy liquid of un-poured cement. I am scared if I settle for even a moment I’ll be buried in the heaviness forever. 50 feet under, petrified in grey. I must keep churning to keep the flow.
My body falls away as my minds turbulent spin distracts me. I can’t think my way out like before. I can’t move. I can’t breath.
I am trapped in an invisible vortex. Things seem calm on the outside but gravity is heavier here inside my mind. Each attempt at freedom only burrows me deeper within the cement as I try to crawl through the path I’ve been dealt. Sometimes I just wish it would swallow me whole so that I didn’t have to keep forcing my way. It felt so pointless now. Why am I so shackled when everyone else seems so free, so light, so carefree? They walk on air while I carry the worlds weight with each step.
The energies that be have me surrounded and my only way out, I can’t even be sure exists. Do I clutch onto hope to no avail? My finger tips and knuckles white from holding on too long. My nails starting to bleed from the pressure, knuckles are torn. Is this it? Don’t show me a sign, but lead the way. I can not handle cryptic gestures any longer. I need it to be real. Pull me through to the other side.