Jax ‘trax' explores things I guess most people shy from – like mortality, fragility, cancer; while also exploring the good in humanity and some of the fun stuff like love & laughter. It’s not escapism but reality that I’m interested in
Escape before your heart’s alight
That’s what they said to me.
But what’s the point in living on
If love’s nowhere to be seen
Open up and pull me in
I want a space to hide
Away from all our struggles
Away from all these lies
You look right through, but don’t connect It’s like we’re playing games
You move in me. We make amends but
Now I’m cast to sea
Can’t help just what I’m feeling.
Can’t save you from the past.
But today’s the day I walk away
I hope this thing called love will last
Confidence does not automatically mean you are competent. It does not mean you have your shit together. It can by all means show that you’re a lost little scared child that’s too fearful to show any vulnerability. In doing so you shut off and pretend not to feel, in the hopes you protect your soft little underbelly. Feeling is one of the strongest things we can do in life. To feel is to be human, to be fragile or to be heroic. Feeling will give you something back that hardening your fearful heart never will. You will grow. You might feel pain. But you will rise above it and become something even more magnificent than before. Never be afraid to feel, it’s the only pathway we have back to love – JLF
Sometimes we are so scared to tell our truth, afraid of what people might think, how people will judge us or reject us. What we don’t realise is that that truth can set us free. The thing we think nobody could understand maybe the very thing that bonds you & creates understanding. Be brave & speak your truth, no matter how you think it sounds. Nobody is perfect and in our flaws and mistakes we find deeper connection, understanding and love. Cleanse yourself of the shame and be who you are, live your life 💕
My feet on dry land but I feel like I am drowning. Drowning, sinking, into a thick heavy liquid of un-poured cement. I am scared if I settle for even a moment I’ll be buried in the heaviness forever. 50 feet under, petrified in grey. I must keep churning to keep the flow.
My body falls away as my minds turbulent spin distracts me. I can’t think my way out like before. I can’t move. I can’t breath.
I am trapped in an invisible vortex. Things seem calm on the outside but gravity is heavier here inside my mind. Each attempt at freedom only burrows me deeper within the cement as I try to crawl through the path I’ve been dealt. Sometimes I just wish it would swallow me whole so that I didn’t have to keep forcing my way. It felt so pointless now. Why am I so shackled when everyone else seems so free, so light, so carefree? They walk on air while I carry the worlds weight with each step.
The energies that be have me surrounded and my only way out, I can’t even be sure exists. Do I clutch onto hope to no avail? My finger tips and knuckles white from holding on too long. My nails starting to bleed from the pressure, knuckles are torn. Is this it? Don’t show me a sign, but lead the way. I can not handle cryptic gestures any longer. I need it to be real. Pull me through to the other side.
JaxTrax 