Don’t lose yourself chasing the lost…

I lost myself in trying to be what someone wanted me to be & forgot that I needed to find someone that wanted to be who I needed & was happy to support me in return. Some people step up to the challenge and become better people to be worthy of someone’s company. While others start to scrape away at your sense of self and start making you feel like you’re not enough so they can do as they please & have you fumbling over them trying to hold onto and bend backwards for something that’s not even real, thinking it’s all you deserve.

It’s so dangerous what a manipulator can do to a good heart. They draw you in wielding all the bells and whistles of a great partner & then they switch the switch and try to make you chase them for it making you believe you did something wrong. The psychology behind this is so interesting but I see it happen everyday to intelligent, amazing women and men & it baffles me that we put up with it for as long as we do, sometimes never getting out of it’s grips.

A lover should be someone that has your back, and you have theirs, someone that never ignores you even when you’ve fought, someone that wants only the best for you and you for them. You don’t have to agree on everything but the important things of respect and adoring each other are a must. Love can never be a one sided street or it becomes toxic and eats up the person that’s forced to chase & can make even the strongest of hearts and minds crumble and twirl off into a desperate spiral of confusion, and heartbreak while they are led on. Eventually all that is left is an empty shell of one’s former self.

The next love I meet, I’ll make sure they are far beyond anyone I’ve ever met. No more wanting to fix broken men, no more being a martyr because I see someone’s soft underbelly and just want them to open up & be their real selves because you’re convinced you’ve seen their true potential. Either bring it or not at all!! I don’t have time now for time wasters that don’t realise what they could have.

Tomorrow will be for me, my life, my goals, my pleasure and my future. Here’s to no more wasted years on immature men or immature people 💪💋💜

October 11, 2017 0

From rain drops come oceans

From raindrops come oceans: Something I must remember to tell myself each day. We need to honour the journey and baby steps it takes to surmount our greatest trials & achieve our goals. Sometimes we feel all the little bits in between don’t mean so much but it is these steps that build our strength, give us momentum and focus our sights. Each decision to act or not act is what makes us. We must never give up hope when standing at the foot of the mountain, no matter how high the mountain. There are only ever a limited number of steps to conquer her. To see it as impossible makes it so, so always believe in your own abilities, no matter how hard someone tells you it will be. The level of difficulty is not a proclamation of unattainability. Keep moving! 😘💜x

October 11, 2017 0

The naked truth is sometimes better than the story in our skeptical minds:

Sometimes we think the worst of someone because of what someone else has said to us and under the circumstances the story seems to fit so we change our perception & react. But sometimes that story that’s so believable and makes so much sense couldn’t be further from the truth. What I’ve learnt recently is that you must never let someone else alter your view of another person unless you’ve seen it first hand and even then things can be blurred and confusing. There are so many people out there it seems with ulterior motives that really just want to watch someone burn, even when they can see their target is already struggling. I never thought this was possible as I’ve always been the loving naive type I guess when it comes to matters of the heart and friendships but yeah some people are just dark on the inside & really don’t care what happens to you because of their lies & mistruths. I guess the morale to the story is, if you’re happy even though everyone else is seeing something else, then just keep your mouth shut & don’t react but find out from the source. It reminds me of this poem I read once, this basically explains the lesson I’ve learnt in one eloquent and comical prose…

“Once upon a time, there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to

fly south for the winter. However, soon after the weather turned cold,

the sparrow changed his mind and reluctantly started to fly south.

After a short time, ice began to form his on his wings and he fell to

earth in a barnyard almost frozen. A cow passed by and crapped on this

little bird and the sparrow thought it was the end, but the manure

warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy the little sparrow

began to sing. Just then, a large Tom cat came by and hearing the

chirping investigated the sounds. As Old Tom cleared away the manure,

he found the chirping bird and promptly ate him.

There are three morals to this story:

(1) Everyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy.

(2) Everyone who gets you out of shit is not necessarily your friend.

(3) If you are warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut.” Author unknown.

Haha funny but so true. Hope you like it 💜xx

October 10, 2017 0

Dear Cancer…

“Dear Cancer, You’re a selfish needy jerk. I already told you it’s over on 4 separate occasions so please can you seriously just bugger off, nobody likes you anyway. It’s been 24 years I think now since we first met, and I’ve got to say you’ve been a jerk since day one. You took my father from me, you made me ill and scared for my life, you made me lose my hair and made me lose weight until I was the weight of a small child. You even started taking my body parts. You’ve ruined relationships that I could have been successful in if it weren’t for you. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t think, I couldn’t do anything with you in my life. My friends hate you, I hate you, my cat even hates you. Shrivel up now and disappear for good. I can’t keep having to go to all this effort to get you out of my life every few years. I’m already scarred enough as it is. You’re not welcome back!!! Unaffectionately yours, your(trying to be) ex girlfriend, Jacqueline :b hah”

This is a little exert I posted on “I had Cancer.com”
A site that is helping provide support and awareness for the young adult demographic who have gone or are going through cancer and for those caring for someone affected by this seriously shitty illness.

I figured cancer ends up being like a bit of a toxic relationship that you can’t get out of so why not talk about it as such. One thing I probably should add though is although my soon to be Ex has caused me so much drama, pain and disarray in my life, he has also taught me to be even more kind, even more empathetic and understanding.
I’m probably there more than I need to be for people sometimes and give far too many chances, but I understand the concept of finality and having your last moments with someone. I understand people make mistakes and half the time have no idea what they’re really even doing & most of us a scared sh#tless. I know that sometimes we don’t get to have a second chance with someone no matter how much we wish for it. Cancer can take and take until one day there is nothing left, and so is true for normal life’s struggles. I feel more comfortable giving more of myself each day to others than I do giving less to protect myself and one day discover that that moment I chose not to give back just happened to be my last day to every be with that person again. Life is so fleeting, we really don’t have time for such hatred and selfishness in our lives. Give love no matter what and watch the world change. Giving love can never truly end in disappointment if it’s genuine.
I’ve had to learn this all the hard way, through cancers aftermath and losing a dear friend to suicide. Just know we’re all way more vulnerable than people let on. The tough guy mentality is sometimes just a shield to protect him from his pain. Give love always x

October 10, 2017 0