Poetry – Page 8

The earth spins, as we feel our minds wander across all of the possibilities that life could be. We unbalance it for a moment. The creative spark igniting the torch, we see all of the possibilities of the future.

We create this ever changing miraculous world we live in, yet sometimes we don’t even realise who is behind the wheel steering us into the tomorrow. We have the opportunity to create such wonderful moments, to rise above all of the destruction we sometimes see. But other times we welcome the disaster.

Perhaps their is beauty in the broken, in the pure release of it all. It’s so honest. So brave. It is a mirror of the strength that our souls carry and gives others hope to know that we can overcome even the darkest of times.

Light is beautiful, but it is only perceived as beauty because of this dichotomy. Perhaps it makes us feel powerful and like we have control. Or perhaps it’s the sheer joy knowing you aren’t in the grips of darkness when you are in fact in the light.

But there is beauty in both and when you see this, our worlds become larger. The possibilities endless and the amount of joy we gain from life, infinite. Never judge in a moment as there are always many shades yet to come. The next may be even brighter than before and even from the darkest night still shines hope

The window panes shook from an angry voice, hollow and gruff, he rumbled with noise. He clapped his hands with a fiery slap. He rubbed his brow, sweat going splititty splat.

He then spoke to me. Each word as a breeze, of fiery breath that could freeze. My heart beat faster and faster still. When you gaze at him, his eyes they chill.

Why oh why so mad, I asked of him? What have I done? Then CRASH went the tin.

Have I been bad just laying here? Why so loud? Please don’t come in.

He replied to me with a mournful growl, a flood of tears then came crashing on down. I realised then it wasn’t anger he shed, just sadness, and worry, while I was laying there in my bed.

His heart ached, as did mine of the fear we both felt. As the world crumbled beneath us, both our hearts did melt. We talked then for hours of worries of woes. Now every time I hear him I feel I’m not alone.

To those of us who understand what forever means, that understand the true meaning of permanence and that have felt the heart ache of a diagnosis that changes years or entire life times rather than just weeks or months of a life. You are a soldier, fighting a battle that no one sees but it’s immensity weighs in your every thought and breath. You are stronger than you could ever quantify in words or award in grand gestures. You have a gift that in this world most can’t appreciate.

An inspiration to the few that can fully feel the burden you bear and see the wonderment in your nobel actions and achievements. Your soul pristine white and glowing from the inside. There is a reason you’ve been chosen for such an epic battle and it is because your soul can teach so much to those still in the dark. You light their way but in doing so, just as any torch, your form must burn into nothingness until the last drop of light is extracted.

May your light live on in the people’s lives that you’ve touched, like a fire which spreads from the burning embers and from this may your form evolve into something far more beautiful than this earthly place could have ever imagined for you. You have surpassed and risen above all the insignificant wantings of a human. You are free

(I wrote this thinking of a friend that lost their battle with cancer) R.I.P xoxox

All I remember now is how comforting your voice was. The way you would sing to me & read me stories always igniting my curiosity & intellect. You would hold me and make me feel like everything was OK even when it wasn’t.

I used to remember your smell but now I’m not quite sure if it’s just a made up thing in my head. I remember your manicured hands & strong work ethic, even from a kids perspective. You were my rock, my calm amongst the storm, always.

Not being able to say goodbye has always played on my mind these past 25 years, it’s something I thought would fade over time but instead it seems to almost strengthen as remembering the shape of your face seems to fade. It’s why I’m the way I am I guess. I always want to keep in touch with those I love because I’m so scared to ever go through the same trauma of never getting a last goodbye. Maybe that’s why I never have really fit in. You don’t understand loss until someone no longer exists in this world that was apart of your soul. They can move, they can leave you, but when they pass on there is a finality to this knowledge that shakes you to your core and you actually feel the absence of their presence on this earth.

When I was 9 I didn’t think I’d ever be able to even breathe again & just wanted so desperately to be by your side, even if it meant passing on myself. My life didn’t seem worth living without you. I remember picking up that phone to listen in on mum’s conversation only to hear the worst news of my life as you had lost your battle with those hideous treatments. Nobody deserves to fight so long only to lose their fight. I still don’t know why you thought it best to send me away by myself. I would have witnessed the worst most gruesome sights & felt all the pain in the world just to see you again & to be there to at least say goodbye if you had to go.

I was always cranky with myself that as a 9 year old I didn’t fight harder to see you as you laid to rest. I was too polite and I hate that about myself. Nobody would let me near you. I was supposedly being protected when all it did was crush me & make it even harder for me to let go. I felt abandoned & isolated in my misery as I cried myself to sleep every night and every quiet moment in between that I had to myself. Maybe this void I feel will change for the better eventually. I somehow still have hope, but it’s making me tired now. R.I.P dad, I’ll love you always xoxo