empathy – Page 5

The earth spins, as we feel our minds wander across all of the possibilities that life could be. We unbalance it for a moment. The creative spark igniting the torch, we see all of the possibilities of the future.

We create this ever changing miraculous world we live in, yet sometimes we don’t even realise who is behind the wheel steering us into the tomorrow. We have the opportunity to create such wonderful moments, to rise above all of the destruction we sometimes see. But other times we welcome the disaster.

Perhaps their is beauty in the broken, in the pure release of it all. It’s so honest. So brave. It is a mirror of the strength that our souls carry and gives others hope to know that we can overcome even the darkest of times.

Light is beautiful, but it is only perceived as beauty because of this dichotomy. Perhaps it makes us feel powerful and like we have control. Or perhaps it’s the sheer joy knowing you aren’t in the grips of darkness when you are in fact in the light.

But there is beauty in both and when you see this, our worlds become larger. The possibilities endless and the amount of joy we gain from life, infinite. Never judge in a moment as there are always many shades yet to come. The next may be even brighter than before and even from the darkest night still shines hope

The window panes shook from an angry voice, hollow and gruff, he rumbled with noise. He clapped his hands with a fiery slap. He rubbed his brow, sweat going splititty splat.

He then spoke to me. Each word as a breeze, of fiery breath that could freeze. My heart beat faster and faster still. When you gaze at him, his eyes they chill.

Why oh why so mad, I asked of him? What have I done? Then CRASH went the tin.

Have I been bad just laying here? Why so loud? Please don’t come in.

He replied to me with a mournful growl, a flood of tears then came crashing on down. I realised then it wasn’t anger he shed, just sadness, and worry, while I was laying there in my bed.

His heart ached, as did mine of the fear we both felt. As the world crumbled beneath us, both our hearts did melt. We talked then for hours of worries of woes. Now every time I hear him I feel I’m not alone.

To those of us who understand what forever means, that understand the true meaning of permanence and that have felt the heart ache of a diagnosis that changes years or entire life times rather than just weeks or months of a life. You are a soldier, fighting a battle that no one sees but it’s immensity weighs in your every thought and breath. You are stronger than you could ever quantify in words or award in grand gestures. You have a gift that in this world most can’t appreciate.

An inspiration to the few that can fully feel the burden you bear and see the wonderment in your nobel actions and achievements. Your soul pristine white and glowing from the inside. There is a reason you’ve been chosen for such an epic battle and it is because your soul can teach so much to those still in the dark. You light their way but in doing so, just as any torch, your form must burn into nothingness until the last drop of light is extracted.

May your light live on in the people’s lives that you’ve touched, like a fire which spreads from the burning embers and from this may your form evolve into something far more beautiful than this earthly place could have ever imagined for you. You have surpassed and risen above all the insignificant wantings of a human. You are free

(I wrote this thinking of a friend that lost their battle with cancer) R.I.P xoxox

Sleepless nights trying to digest the lies you’ve given. My heart beats faster wondering what to reply, to be upfront or to let it slide yet again.

The hurt you cause is greater than any hurt to just myself. I see you hurt yourself over and over as you lose faith in all, knowing that even you lie to those who love you. I don’t even care so much about what I know you’re actually doing, but I care that you think so little of me that you think lying is the only way.

I’m not a pushy person like I know you think I am but if you lie to me you drive me deeper into my head where I overanalyse, I critique, I judge, because it’s the only thing keeping me sane & having some sense of self respect in that moment. Perhaps it’s just time for me to finally walk away. Saying that almost seems comical to me after running this marathon now for a few years too many. I feel like a failure that couldn’t crack the egg. Yet I know I can’t be that hard on myself, after all you padlocked it with an ever changing code & a web of lies. It’s your doing not mine. How was I ever going to get close enough. You even created a moat around that broken heart of yours.

All I ever wanted from you was for you to be real, some honesty & to share in some fun moments. All I feel has happened has been me tip toeing around trying not to say the wrong thing, which in turn has made me seem nothing like myself. No wonder it is the way it is, no wonder it hasn’t happened.