Crimson tide

Crimson stained tide, sailing the sheets you laid. Entangled bodies, glistening in empty desire. Breath quickens and hearts pound, flooding the satin as she blossoms. Lies uttered to keep the embrace & now the aftermath; mind circling wondering what the point to any of it was as she lay quivering. Why awaken something in a woman with lies? Lies of love, future and promise. Such a juvenile game to play. Games meh, for children. Wasting months on the clock, evaporating precious time in double time. Become a man & speak your truth or you will forever feel as inadequate as you obviously have become. Why attempt such things? Such a low brow way of clutching at a self. Your character a fraud even to yourself. What a sad little way to waste a life & a moment. Gone forever. Never existed & never was.

May 27, 2020 0

Ocean tides

You are the moon. I’m at the whim of your too and fro. My heart strings dance as you tug them this way then that. I rise and fall gently at first, but the oceans in me have become more turbulent now with each ambivalent step you take.

I can no longer see the shoreline. I am at sea lost and riding the waves. The darkness has fallen around me so I can no longer see it coming, as the waves crash down on top of me. I’m drowning in this ocean tide. A rip taking me so far away from myself that I’m not sure I even have the strength to return. My arms and heart heavy now, trembling with exhaustion.

I’m looking for a life buoy to keep me afloat. But I know it’s only me who can save me now. I pluck up the courage to keep pulling my way through, each laboured stroke one moment closer to shore, but then each wave crashes and takes me miles more out to sea. Maybe now I just have to give in and let go, ride the rip tide to another shore, find myself on islands untouched so I can put my feet firmly back on solid ground. I need the sun to guide my way as the moons pull is still too strong.

April 21, 2020 0

Trojan words

Be careful with your words even when using words of love or admiration, to offer up loving words with no intention of following through or without truth is even more dark than offering up words of hate.

It takes from the person so much deeper than a simple insult or rejection. It lifts them up only to have gravity smash them into a million pieces. Unable to trust again.

Always be careful with your words. Choose wisely. Say what you mean not what you think someone wants to hear. Never say something just to make yourself feel better.

Words are weapons, some more obvious & some like Trojan horses that can destroy a person from the inside out; Getting straight to their hearts centre by incasing it in a facade of love.

Respect the power of words

January 17, 2020 0

To the other side

My feet on dry land but I feel like I am drowning. Drowning, sinking, into a thick heavy liquid of un-poured cement. I am scared if I settle for even a moment I’ll be buried in the heaviness forever. 50 feet under, petrified in grey. I must keep churning to keep the flow.

My body falls away as my minds turbulent spin distracts me. I can’t think my way out like before. I can’t move. I can’t breath.

I am trapped in an invisible vortex. Things seem calm on the outside but gravity is heavier here inside my mind. Each attempt at freedom only burrows me deeper within the cement as I try to crawl through the path I’ve been dealt. Sometimes I just wish it would swallow me whole so that I didn’t have to keep forcing my way. It felt so pointless now. Why am I so shackled when everyone else seems so free, so light, so carefree? They walk on air while I carry the worlds weight with each step.

The energies that be have me surrounded and my only way out, I can’t even be sure exists. Do I clutch onto hope to no avail? My finger tips and knuckles white from holding on too long. My nails starting to bleed from the pressure, knuckles are torn. Is this it? Don’t show me a sign, but lead the way. I can not handle cryptic gestures any longer. I need it to be real. Pull me through to the other side.

July 10, 2019 0