No assumptions…

I’m starting to believe that assumption can be found at the root of every relationship break down. I’ve had so many friends currently going through relationship issues and it seems when you really start exploring the common thread that shows up again and again it’s that some kind of assumption was made by one or both people before it started turning south. It’s our nature to do this as we think we’re saving time or understand something more fully than we really do. More often than not though, what we assume of someone else is nothing like the reality & we actually create disconnection & sometimes fall out with people for the wrong reasons (if only we knew at the time)

Good communication is such a necessary component to any relationship, be it friendship or romantic. We just need to learn how to be open, and to never assume anything until it’s actually directly said & clarified. It’s a very active way of existing and takes work but in the end I think this would save far more time than continuing on both seemingly together but in different head spaces. Both in a parallel but not truly connected fashion, always guessing away at the situations that arise.

We’ve seemed to have lost our ability to talk to one another these days & to be excited about actually getting to know how someone works. If they don’t match us exactly we run a mile. We don’t all have to be the same, it will never fully happen like that.

We just have to appreciate and accept how other people think and feel and consider this with our next interaction. We must also consider our biases and influences & how that feeds into these assumptions. I.e. If someone is attractive people sometimes assume they could be superficial or mean etc. Know that we will never be exactly the same as one another with how we experience and understand things. Falling in love though sometimes we just assume the other person is on the exact same page, it’s that feeling of oneness. Such an unhelpful & sometimes flawed thought to have, unless it’s genuinely true.

February 17, 2018 0

The human condition…

The human condition is one of the most perplexing things there is on this beautiful earth. At the end of the day we seek nothing but connection and love but we look for it in all the wrong places. We have created this consumerist world to make money to afford to buy things that fill the void that we have created & in doing so make ourselves ill. We are told everyday of how we are lacking; on the television, in the magazines, every day in subtle ways and sometimes blatantly obvious slaps in the face by beautifully manicured and polished hands. We lap it up like we need to be told what life is all about & how to live it. Drinking up the poisonous words of some seething corporate greedy bastard entity. We aren’t even fighting people anymore, we’re fighting corporations that can’t even be confronted to be able to fight back. We are just a mere cog in this intricate and grubby new machine.

Anxiety and depression rates sky rocket as our world is supposed to be easier and more accessible, but we sit here and talk to each other through screens and type our incomprehensible expressions of love and anger towards each other and our feelings of urgency & being behind to do what we should have done. For things of love and awe sometimes there are just no words to express what you can only show through human touch or that effervescent twinkle in someone’s eye. No wonder love has become only sex and looking for bank accounts that fit someones lifestyle for some people. Nobody sees each other anymore. We walk past amazing souls each and every day, we sit next to them on the train on the early morning commute to work but we only see our own faces staring back at us, tired and worn in the reflection of our iPhones. We swipe left or right on people’s faces which reduce them to a few lines of text and a photoshopped image. We give our bodies over to strangers in the hopes that superficially being held for a night will fill us up for long enough that we can escape our perpetual feelings of loneliness if only for a moment. While we search for this connection we destroy everything in sight, we knock down reserves to build skywards to climb towards something as close to heaven as we’ll ever find. We destroy each other through our own expressions of hurt, trying to make sense of it all. As they say, “hurt people hurt people”.

But then the flip side, as humans we have this need of love which shows us just how fragile and real we can be. It exposes our soft little underbellies as we grunt and put on that tough guy face and say “I don’t need anyone”. It’s such a sad day to know some will never experience true happiness as they chase these corporate made dreams and subdue that little voice buried deep deep down in the pits of their stomachs. Some appreciate the twinkle of a diamond more than the spark that ignites between two people made for each other – JLF (JaxTrax)

(I’d just like to add, I don’t only see the world in this way, reading back it seems so one sided and negative, this was a mere snap shot of a thought I had while sitting on the train going home from an appointment haha. It’s just showing the cracks in society and the pitfalls we sometimes succumb to unknowingly, if down trodden long enough. It’s more about the lack of connection I felt that day from people around me) hugs. Big love xoxo

November 22, 2017 2

Embers

A small tear falls gently on the floor as a fragile ember burns from the hope of a more simple day. A day when love is enough and people speak the truth. Not hiding from all the egoic walls that we’ve helped build. I’ll hold my breath and sit in the silence as I wait for this match to ignite – JLF (JaxTrax)

November 22, 2017 0

Don’t lose yourself chasing the lost…

I lost myself in trying to be what someone wanted me to be & forgot that I needed to find someone that wanted to be who I needed & was happy to support me in return. Some people step up to the challenge and become better people to be worthy of someone’s company. While others start to scrape away at your sense of self and start making you feel like you’re not enough so they can do as they please & have you fumbling over them trying to hold onto and bend backwards for something that’s not even real, thinking it’s all you deserve.

It’s so dangerous what a manipulator can do to a good heart. They draw you in wielding all the bells and whistles of a great partner & then they switch the switch and try to make you chase them for it making you believe you did something wrong. The psychology behind this is so interesting but I see it happen everyday to intelligent, amazing women and men & it baffles me that we put up with it for as long as we do, sometimes never getting out of it’s grips.

A lover should be someone that has your back, and you have theirs, someone that never ignores you even when you’ve fought, someone that wants only the best for you and you for them. You don’t have to agree on everything but the important things of respect and adoring each other are a must. Love can never be a one sided street or it becomes toxic and eats up the person that’s forced to chase & can make even the strongest of hearts and minds crumble and twirl off into a desperate spiral of confusion, and heartbreak while they are led on. Eventually all that is left is an empty shell of one’s former self.

The next love I meet, I’ll make sure they are far beyond anyone I’ve ever met. No more wanting to fix broken men, no more being a martyr because I see someone’s soft underbelly and just want them to open up & be their real selves because you’re convinced you’ve seen their true potential. Either bring it or not at all!! I don’t have time now for time wasters that don’t realise what they could have.

Tomorrow will be for me, my life, my goals, my pleasure and my future. Here’s to no more wasted years on immature men or immature people 💪💋💜

October 11, 2017 0